A man's longing for the Holy Spirit

1 October, 1984

[The speaker is the Author and she is talking about the male]

 Here is the one whom we women had been struggling with for centuries, for millennia, the one who had been killing us, the one who had been enslaving us, the one who had been humiliating us, the one who had been dominating us to assert himself, the one who had been appealing to us with a view to triumphing over us, the one who had been embracing us with a view to leaving us, the one who had been looking at us with a view to seeing nothing of what we were. And here, having given birth to wars and bombs, he had suddenly realized that he had given birth to nothing, that he was nothing but a pair of empty hands that were able to do everything but were in fact meaningless.

And he wept because his own vanity could not satisfy him. And he wept over the Eternal and the Meaningful, and he rushed to the realm of love. What he found there was Eve, a cunning female slave who secretly hated him for all his crimes, for all the humiliation he had caused her. And he understood that his domination meant death unto death and there was no escape for him and there was no one who could bear  him into the life of the Spirit. And he sat down, a powerful mortal, with his arms around his knees like Vrubel's Demon*, and even if he were immortal he would still be trapped in the torment of loneliness forever, constrained by material forms, hopeless, meaningless, numb with despair.

Then the God-bearer appeared and he rushed to Her and he cried out to Her. Now he was hearing Her response, now he was not, now he was dying, now he was coming back  to life. And She had been crying for  him for millennia, doing her best to support all that was eternal in his actions, because She saw in his desperate eyes that he was in need of Her and She could not look away. And there resounded the man's cry for his Soul to be born and it was like a cavity opening wide wishing to receive semen for the extension of his life. And he started longing for the birth of God - for himself to be born as God, for himself to be born with Meaning. Thus arose man's great need of woman, not any woman but the Mother of God who would penetrate his ready soul.

Since such a birth into the life of the Spirit depends on the woman, is it possible that she will refuse to respond to this call? Will she again offer her self-interest? Will she again do as Eve always does? Is it possible that she will not have enough compassion to understand why men live in the sin of stupor?  Maybe it is necessary for them to fashion some sort of material forms and to hold these forms in their hands, while we are spiritually strengthening and filling both male and female Souls, and holding onto them. Is it possible that in such a situation we would think only about ourselves? Is it possible that we would continue to doubt?

Whatever happens, however long the way, you men should know that we are the keepers of your Souls. We enter into your longing and save your Being. We do not need anything from you in return. Just do not give up your longing for the Spirit. Eves offer you their human pity and you relax into it, and you stay with them and are  born into death.

We cannot offer you our pity. We cannot depreciate our quality because this quality belongs to your Soul too. We cannot bow before you if you are in your old state of being, even though we know very well how easily you get inspired when Eve bows before you. If we have inspired you this way we will become Eves ourselves and we will make you our masters so you will be briefly reanimated , but this is the way to death, while we wait for you in the Eternal. We will welcome you at any time as soon as you remember about your Soul, and therefore remember about us. We will forget all your insults, all your cruelty, all the mortal states you were in, because only Life in all its fullness has compassion to death. Whatever happens, we are always ready to respond when you call to us for salvation.

In visions The Mother of God (as the higher heart) appears as a young woman blazing with love, a being open to the world. She has a youthful, strong chin, a piercing look, flying hair. She is a-glow shining, seeking to help someone. This is an intense search rushing towards you in a  stream of meaning and happiness.  This is a flame, storming into male life like an impulse of meaning. This is a joyful responsibility! How could there be anything fit for us apart from this? We love you as our Saviours, we wait for you as our Gods, though it is we who give birth to you. We feel pity for you as our small children. We need your call. We wait for you.

Do the women of Earth really not see in what state of readiness is male longing?!  Do the women really not realize that men throw themselves into brutality due to their orphanage? Why are men uneasy? Why are men on a constant search? All this is because men inwardly know how they are to be greeted, that they have to be penetrated (spiritually), and nothing of the kind happens. Maybe their fierceness, their selfishness are a reaction to the fact that they are not allowed to be born? And maybe their insolence, their cruelty are because they have no notional filling? Do the women of Earth really not see that when the Meaning really comes into men they become strikingly tender and ready to be born?


* Mikhail Vrubel (1856 - 1910), a famous Russian symbolist painter, who had pictorialized Mikhail Lermontov's romantic Caucasian poem "The Demon". This demon is a powerful fallen angel, a spirit not so much evil as suffering and sorrowing, who had fallen in love with a mortal woman.

See "The Demon sitting" paintnig by Mikhail Vrubel.

Read "The Demon" poem in English (downloading pdf file).

  A man's longing for the Holy Spirit