So today Luba again started the discussion on the subject of demand. She has got it: she studies the books, seeking for knowledge, she likes Light, enjoys it, waiting for it to flow down, doing her utmost to continue meditation. But with any difficulty arising she comes forth with demand. First she appears to be timid in her demand, then she proves more and more persistent. When she is humble, and invoking – she deserves help. But in the process of filling her up with energy she turns to be more capricious, arrogant, and tense; there arises the lower Capricorn inside her, trying to reach the peak of Light (Luba's sign of birth is Capricorn). She still doesn't understand that such type of Capricorn will never admit Christ, because Light cannot pass through coagulant, it cannot pass through the demanding toughness.
If a man lived through all his life without demand for anything or anybody he would be already saved. The absence of demand on the zone of mind means not self-centered mind but peaceful, attending mind. No demand on the zone of throat means the absence of the image of your own self, not cultivating the image of your selfhood. No demand on the zone of heart – means genuine, devoted Love without the cry of the forlorn. If the heart gives out an egoistic cry, claiming for Christ, for Light or Love, feeling left and forgotten, if it is jammed in hysterical claims for attention how can it acquire the impulse of Christ?
The devil does not claim for riches, for prestige, he claims for Light. Look! It is “Light” heart – means but he claims for it! When we demand Light, the Light will descend to meet our demand, and in so doing It will feed up our own selfishness, which, in fact, is the cell of the devil's body.
We begin meditation and we know that the blessing flow will come if we are relaxed and ready to meet it. Why are you not in this state? “Being in Spirit” – as you call it? Not striving for It, but living in this state! Therefore the receptivity should be the natural norm of your being to make it possible for the bliss to flow in. Keep it in mind, Luba! It is the bliss, not you, that can demand. But if you come to learn and you already have the awareness of how the process looks like, why then you appeal to the Entity higher than you? If you are closely watching the process, it means that you‘ve come not to alter yourself, but to steal and use the energies. So that the final point of count, the tuning fork sound be surely yours but not the Master's. If you are born into a new Evolution, you love, you plea, you supplicate that It comes to you and admits you as the unit.
All that I can do is to plea, cry in reverence, as I understand that Light is high above me. How I dare to programme the actions of a Being much higher than me? Can I really perceive deeper than my Master? Or may be I just “feed” on His love?
I don't mean you feel pity for yourself, like: “Yes, I am worthless, there is no chance for me!” It's the other side of pride. Let such a person get satiated with energy a little, and he will immediately exclaim “I am – the great!”
Not that – “I am worthless”, but merely – “I love You. I fully comprehend Your Greatness, I know Your Light, I know your competence. How can I allow myself, being so small, demand more?! I don't humiliate myself I simply know the law of evolution and I follow it”.
Particularly dangerous, Luba, is your demand in meditation when being involved in a spiritual practice, because you pretend that this demand is justified by your search, your righteous goals and noble choice. As a result you come not to die by your lower self in order to become Soul and perform the hardest labour of the evolutionary rise, but it's your personality that comes to catch Light, bringing itself as a gift for Light, as something that Light really needs. And now just think, isn't it a trick of a temporary lower nature, trying to devour on what doesn't belong to it? Isn't it just the way how the devil feasts on by the use of you?
And now about demands related to our selves. Here we also must be careful. How can you raise claims even against yourself, if you know the astrological principles and comprehend the fact that by the date and hour of your birth you represent a fixed picture of Cosmos, which is continuously interacting with the newly born pictures, while Cosmos daily changes Its pattern? Suppose, yesterday I worked out a certain law for myself and today I put all my efforts trying to push it in my behaviour. But today Cosmos makes a new “move”, a new gesture. It is turning round, changing, but you, its cell, remain immovable because yesterday you formed up some idea, you promised, you worked out plans, fixed them in your mind and above all – set yourself in a position of a claimant. No doubt, you will be ground down in dust by Higher Being of the Dancer, the Commander... However it be, sooner or later, if you don't learn how to attend to the sanctions of an evolutionary greater Source you, as a cell, will be expelled out of Its organism. Imagine that your arm disobeys you: you reach for an object to hold it, but your arm drops loose, you want to shake hands with somebody, but it won't move. It doesn't follow your mind, it doesn't help, and it can let you down at any crucial moment. When fox has its paw caught in a trap, fox bites off its paw to rescue the whole organism.
The organism of the Whole knows that we are integrated in as the part of It. If our behaviour is alien, then in order to survive It removes us, throws us out into death, into “outer darkness”, It throws away all those “crowned creations” who claim for being the acme in the process of the evolution of consciousness .
The astrological chart of the day that you ponder over every morning, truly displays the actual state of the Solar Logos. When meditating on it, you ought to know that for you – it is the Highest Deity. The mandala of the day is the icon of the Solar Deity. Every day It shows by Its dance new “moves” of planets interacting. You ought to be open, alert, sensitive so that you be able to reveal It on your level of being most precisely.
If you are in the core of consciousness, within God, you are God Himself. He is dancing (and that's you), and lots of people are just the moves of His dance, and then you appear to dwell in the centre of every human being. That is, the chart of birth of every other person is the manifestation of the same essence but in different step of the dance. Isn't it that some planets are replaced by the other ones? Or there changed the laws of the interface? They have just moved into different position. Your Central Being has made another gesture. When people argue with each other, the moves of the dance get in controversy too. One exclaims: “My dance pirouette is – the only truth!” And another: “No, not yours, mine – is the truth!” But the only truly Dancer is – God, Shiva, Devi! When watching the dance of Logos you must learn how to love different “moves” of your own dance. Only then people will have the ability to behold and enjoy each other. A human being will become Soul, Spirit, God. The higher the being, the closer he is to Essence, to the Whole. Such a safe, enjoyable affinity! How dare you disagree with your own gesture or raise claims against it?
Therefore to hold any claims even against yourself — is impossible! Nor can you do it against anybody else. Anyway, never be demanding at all! You just perceive Light. The most safe position in Cosmos is when you are totally devoted to Light. It is not the demand. I wouldn't say that I demand from myself I must love God. There is no place for demand when you love. I love Him. I cannot live without Him. It's for His sake that my life here is extending. He is my Light, Which destroys me and saves me all together. And there is no demand in it. Demand – is a crazy riot of a part trying to fight against the Whole. All my nature is only loving, only reverencing. You percieve the sanction, you recognize it, you attend to it and receive it! With all my efforts I am trying to perceive the Life of the Whole (as far as It reveals to me), so that I do not to find myself the “lost paw”.
Let it be your precept:
I choose the most High, the most Sacred for me at the moment, and disappearing, I am on service and give myself to It with all veneration. I am never demanding to the Higher, neither to my own self, nor to people. I have nothing to demand for, I only LOVE the HIGHER. Such is the law of Cosmos, the law of consciousness survival in It!